Children who’ve grown up in the homes of same-sex parents are ‘letting themselves out of the closet’.
No, not as gay themselves but opposing same-sex parenting and marriage.
Take Heather Barwick, for example. As a child she was brought up by lesbian parents. She has now written an open letter confessing she opposes gay marriage.
What has driven her to this position? She writes that many children of same-sex parents feel deep hurt as a result of being removed from one of their parents.
“I’m writing to you because I’m letting myself out of the closet: I don’t support gay marriage. But it might not be for the reasons that you think. It’s not because you’re gay. I love you, so much. It’s because of the nature of the same-sex relationship itself,” she said. “Same-sex marriage and parenting withholds either a mother or father from a child while telling him or her that it doesn’t matter. That it’s all the same. But it’s not. A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting. My father’s absence created a huge hole in me, and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mum’s partner, but another mum could never have replaced the father I lost.”
The term she used, ‘letting myself out of the closet’, is an interesting reversal on its original meaning. Meant for the gay community, it’s now being used by objectors in a world where we are silenced or labelled ‘homophobic’ if we disagree.
Ms. Barwick isn’t the only one; Katy Faust; Dawn Stefanowicz, Robert Oscar Lopez and Brittany Newmark Klein have also ‘come out’.
Katy Faust is outspoken on the loss of her biological parent as she strongly believes the child misses out in these situations.
“When a child is placed in a same-sex-headed household, she will miss out on at least one critical parental relationship and a vital dual-gender influence. The nature of the adults’ union guarantees this. Whether by adoption, divorce, or third-party reproduction, the adults in this scenario satisfy their heart’s desires, while the child bears the most significant cost: missing out on one or more of her biological parents.”
Lopez and Stefanowicz also have stories from their childhoods that are less than ideal, but there is single theme that ties these stories together:
“My missing parent left a huge hole in me.”
What is clear from these testimonies is that while these children love and appreciate their same-sex parents, the hurt experienced from removing them from their father or mother is deep.
Advocates for same-sex marriage dismiss these concerns. But the reality is that redefining marriage would redefine family.
It would make cases like Heather Barwick’s all the more common.
Our politicians would do well to heed these warnings.